Guilt~~!!! >_>

Date: 02/01/09

Guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, whether real or imagined.

It is less than two weeks until i come home to Australia, and i am feeling ultimately guilty that i have not done any of the transistion homework. For many of you, you will think this is normal and i should be having fun overseas or something. But i did actually bring school books overseas in a attempt to do the work. Today when i woke up, i thought i ould plan to do this work today, but again due to my lack of motivation and self belief i failed to even reach a pen. Instead i bummed around and watched tv. Sigh~!

I also noticed a trend in my cousins family, my cousins bullied their own dear mother due to her bad cooking. I could see the hard work and effort she put in just by the look of her hands, unbearable to describe. But according to the mother, she feels that it is her fault that this mis care took place, she says that she should have cared more for their education and social communications. I feel very sorry for her and pray to God to help her in any way or form. I also rain pity on the male members of the family, they should feel guilty of what they have done and how hurtful and angry they made their own wife/mum, as a result of their uncaring way to thank what they have. I pray to God to forgive them and hope they may change their ways in the future.

I have commited a vilotaion to myself, today, for not doing my simple goals i set for myself today. I also feel that my cousins should feel guilty for the mis treat of their own mother. They may also be an unnecessary guilt at the back of her mind, but as i said, i, myself, believe that it is unnecessary and should not dwell on her mind.

Today my xin qing isnt very good. Due to my lack of motivation to work, i feel utterly guilty for not doing anything about it. I can sum up my actions today as lethargic. And also reflecting on the events that were experienced today i would wake up everyday and be thankful to God for this life that i have and every opportunity He has given me.

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